Come Monday.....It'll be alright

My favorite song by Jimmy Puff-it.

Fat attack on the rampage....

So I spent the weekend ridin' my trike, hydrating like a house on fire and eating queer things like arugula and puffed rice cakes. Rest assured I was not the ugliest thing on less than 4 wheels.

I saw numerous riders who had ridden straight out of Haight-Ashbury with their ancient Bell helmets and gyps and doodles all over their bikes. At least those fellas were personable. I found the worst is the pseudo punk girls with there various piercings, wierdo hair color and them skinny ass jeans only intended for skinny ass women. Invariably these ass hags have way to much skanky looking pale skinned cleavage (the butt variety) showing. They also seem to ride exclusively on underinflated tires on a rig that is set up for style points only.

The best are the dork walkers....men or women out walking like they have to hurry up and take a huge shit. Walking with both cheeks pressed firmly together just swinging them arms. The best part of these women is what I affectionately term the Ass Flag. In the hopes of hiding the generous copious amount of back porch hangin off the poop stoop, these men and women always....always have some sort of sweater or sweatshirt tied firmly around their waste with the torso portion curtain walling the monstrous ass that lives beneath. Its a flag ladies and gents...Might as well have a sign on your back with huge flashing lights that says "Beware: Giant Sized Super Duper Huge Ever Lovin' Pooper" or in traffic parlance "Wide Load".

The weekend rides were a success in that I was able to LSU the retard hat, did not defecate in any inappropriate place (I consider my own shorts to be an inappropriate place).

The wife for all her virtue is ridin the Fat Man hard....no this no that. She found my bag of pork cracklin's hidden in the commode tank. It was the only place i could think of where I could get some privacy. I'd just add an extra dump to the normally scheduled ones. When the commode kept runnin' she popped the back and found the goods.....

My next stop is to buy an Ipod. To keep it interesting, I am going to collect as much stripper music as possible. So, if at least I croak on the trike it will have been with a smile.....

Today the fat man weighs 314,,,,,,,

later pussies.