There is not doubt.....I am a huge fat man. I used to weigh almost 4 and a half bills. I had a flap of skin that would fall over little ricky and I did not see my own pecker for almost 5 years. I knew he was there but he was deep turtling. I began my campaign to drop some weight after my beloved wife Margine found a cocktail napkin from a local strip club stuck in the fold while she was hoovering little ricky. Needless to say she was not pleased and I had to jerk off alone to a Dillards catalog.
I was a high school track and field man and even did some discus during college. So, I have not always been a lard ass. My career as a seismic geologist for Chevron probably has something to do with the weight. I would spend 5 or 6 months on an acre of steel and concrete with nothing to do but eat drink and doink the zipper head hookers that got flowed in. Margine didn't mind as long as I didn't run off with any of them.
Sex with the zips probably had something to do with it. So long as you paid your tab it don't matter if your crotch smelled like yogurt or a crawfish bakey.
So I have vowed to lose weight. Margine says that effectively, little Ricky is smaller because the land around him has grown. The last thing i'd want is for her to run off with some black buck.
So, I am riding a gd tricycle. Its the only exercise I could do. Even so I had to tie a board down on the seat so my corpulent cheeks would not flow over. I joined the CR list today and am hoping them skinny guys can help lose it.
Today the Fat Man weighs 316 pounds.
I am going to wear a dress and shove a tampon up my bung hole for dinner; dawn a little eye shadow and lipstick and eat a girl salad for dinner.
See ya later pussies....
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