If Christmas were in July today would be the day after .... just saying. What a weird week it has been. I have ridden around my usual route this week and despite my loss of weight, I seem to be going slower. I cannot fathom why? It may be that I am weighed down by how stupid the world is becoming and that I sometimes ponder taking a hard left on my trike and cause some plastic boobed mega mommie to shit her thong. Reminds me of one of the funniest scenes in recent cinemaphotography the "shit scene" from Hall Pass. For ease of use and clarity to you shitbaggers, I will even post a link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT6ArJJNqPE
1) We had the birth of the royal baby. It is in italics because when you shit zippers say it you have to say it like you are high on helium and are English (as opposed to Mexican which I shall discuss later). Who the fuck cares about the royal baby? Other than the fact that I'd like to watch him nurse, I have no ineterest in the royal baby, unless he is bathing with his mother. As far as I am concerned the royal baby has just had the best time of his life as he crowned and was then forced out of his mother's va JJ. I would be crying if I were him as well. "Let me go back!" Goddamnit. "Keep that balding nit wit away from that holy place". Some crack head from London who did the Nanny show actually had the balls to get on about how the royals would have to learn to adjust their lives for the royal baby . I say bollocks to that as we know that they will have some large busted engorged Nigerian woman as his wet nurse and he will grow up liking his coffee black (if you get my drift). So fuck off George Phillip Louis!
2) Weinergate. All I can say is Ashley Leathers? Ms. Leathers, meat my Mexican friend Mr. Carlos Danger. Really, that is your name? And how much was Rush Limbaugh paying you. The reason Anthony Weiner cannot never hold public office is that the Russians would hire some large chested Svetlana to ticker his tock and then he'd give up the City of New York's nuclear secrets for a nipple shot. I did hear that Weiner was going to run for President and Eric Holder was his VP. Imagine the bumper stickers: Weiner Holder.
3) Trayvon Zimmerman: Would those stupid fucking jurors please shut the fuck up. "He was guilty of murder but the law did not let us convict him". Please God, do not let me ever be tried before a jury of anyone. Are these people real people? Did they graduate from elementary school? I also read that the Martins received over one million dollars in a wrongful death settlement brought by fat man Crump (their lawyer). What a bunch of assholes. They were shit for parents. There son was a Jr. thug and they did nothing about it and now ugly ass Sybrinna Fulton is giving speeches in MLK cadence (repeating common themes in groups of 3, Bill Clinton was a true master at this as well).
4) Cleveland Kidnapper and Mayor of San Diego: They are really the same person. Both minds addled by porn. Porn is a very diabolical vice. If your IQ does not extend into the 90's you are likely to think that you can get away with imprisoning women (IN YOUR OWN HOUSE) and grabbing their asses at work when YOU ARE THE MAYOR. Do I really need to say anything more about these 2?
So that is the week in review.......hard left into the minivan.......
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